9 April 2017
When a certain idea keeps showing up, I’ve started to learn to listen to these whispers and respond. Hence, I finally made it to the library to take out the book, Broken Open, by Elizabeth Lesser. Her subtitle, How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow, resonates with my life during the past year, which was filled with serious family health issues, problematic relationships, and closure on some situations. This was probably the most difficult year in my life, and I hope this book will help me find the silver lining in the cloud of the pain and challenges I’ve faced.
About halfway through the book, Lesser introduces the Shamanic Lover: an actual person “whose destiny is to heal the heartsick with the sweetness of love, and to give the gift of fire to those whose passion is frozen.” For her, this actual meant physical passion in the form of an extramarital affair. That is not my situation.
However, I am searching for some understanding as to why I have received such difficult visitors, both directly and to those I love. I wonder if there is a more universal application of Lesser’s term. She continues, “Sometimes the Shaman Lover has been sent by fate to blast us open, to awaken the dead parts of our body, to deliver the kiss of life.” She continues with ways that both birth and death have stirred the pot, so to speak. She suggests that these are opportunities to see one’s shadow, the darker side.
I step back to consider these concepts and determine what makes sense to me, both in a logical but also in an emotional way. Which brings me to solidify my interpretation of Lesser’s concept. Often, one part of us is stronger than the rest. We are logical thinkers, with little access to our heart. We are compassionate and connected with others, but we pay little attention to our body. We are Olympic athletes but unable to open our hearts or talk about anything except our specific sport. Any permutation of head-heart-body-spirit imbalance. There are a bunch of them.
Along comes a crisis. It could be anyone or anything.
And the crisis that breaks you apart brings into the forefront the part of you that is out of balance. Maybe you’re too serious. Or not introspective enough. Or too self-focused. Or always putting others ahead of yourself. It becomes obvious and you learn how your head-spirit-body-heart can all contribute equally to your life.
In essence, through a painful process, you end up in balance. Broken whole.
27 March 2017
Ann believes titles can offer entry into the piece, particularly abstract art. My favorite of her begging bowls is this one above. I like the sense of space and distance, continuum and juxtaposition, the textures and color tones. Her title, Struggles, surprised me as I didn’t feel any conflict within the work. Then I remembered my reframing of The Myth of Sisyphus: instead of struggling to push the boulder up the hill, I envision it as a sled ride down. Perhaps that could be applied here, with its meaning depending on if one is looking up the hill at all that must still be covered, or downward and envisioning jumping from bowl to bowl along the way.
When I mention this dichotomy to Grasso, she smiled and noted that people had added money to one of her three bowls on display that was identified as an offering plate. We both laugh and shrug our shoulders. Kindred spirits again.
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Mediation is a dynamic, structured, interactive process where a neutral third party assists disputing parties in resolving conflict through the use of specialized communication and negotiation techniques. All participants in mediation are encouraged to actively participate in the process. Mediation is a “party-centered” process in that it is focused primarily upon the needs, rights, and interests of the parties. The mediator uses a wide variety of techniques to guide the process in a constructive direction and to help the parties find their optimal solution. (Wikipedia).
We eat. Whether it be plant or animal, that which we eat has been alive and has died in the process of nourishing us. Thus: the Native American tradition of silently thanking a deer before taking aim and releasing the arrow.
We can choose to acknowledge the source of our food, all the connections that have made it possible for us to eat: the sun, water, and earth; the harvester, transporter, and distributor; the truck manufacturer, mechanic, fuel supplier, and so on.
Sometimes we don’t know the impact we have on others. Teachers may touch a student and never learn about it. A kind word or considerate action may brighten someone’s day in a significant way.
For a while, I sat with a daughter of each of the twins. They were commenting on this person and that who walked in. So many people. Some they didn’t even know. And I realized that The Cypress was one of those places that served not only good meals but good will, heartfelt connections, and strong caring. It was a place where people could feel at home and musicians felt they were playing in someone’s living room. People who had no one could go and feel comfortable. The Cypress, its owners, and staff touch the hearts of many. And we had all come to say goodbye.
Beth Lapin 