Time, Place, and Space

13 02 2017

big-magic-cover

February 13, 2017

Fellow naturalist and writer Julie Zickefoose recommended Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert as a reminder “to beat fear back in the pursuit of self-expression.” I had not been impressed with her Eat Pray Love. I don’t even remember how I felt when I finished Committed. I heard and then forgot that Gilbert left that chronicled and hard-fought relationship to partner with a friend now facing multiple cancers. But Julie’s words resonated at the moment. A long weekend was coming up and I had some free time and no book.

When I started Big Magic, I was hooked by the defining question: Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you? I shared this with my cousin, also writing a book; she was skeptical of Gilbert’s work and asked for more information. I kept reading and just loved her concept that an idea–a book plot, a scientific discovery, and the like–is an energetic entity that floats around, trying to find a home with someone who will implement it. After a while, this idea can get tired of waiting for a host to act and will move on to another more likely prospect. The example given by Liz Gilbert is a story line she had invested some time into researching, only to be distracted by her then partner’s deportation and the subsequent book (Committed) which described all that. When she went back to this other plot, she’d lost all the vim and vigor to write it…it was gone. Around this time, she became friends with novelist Ann Patchett. A year later, Patchett shared the premise of her work in progress, and it was almost the same plot as the one Gilbert had lost. Gilbert felt the idea had transferred to Patchett when they first met; it had found a more probable person to bring it to completion.

misty-dawn-and-beth-on-hike

My cousin and I during the time she lent me A State of Wonder

OK, that’s all pretty cool, but it happened to them, not me. Then I realized I had read that book of Patchett’s, State of Wonder. Then, holy moly, it hit me! This same cousin who’d asked for more information about Big Magic had Patchett’s book with her when I last saw her, and had lent it me to read! That felt like a confirmation of this concept–that ideas float around looking for a likely host–with a link that included me.

So, I dwelt a bit on this concept. It’s about being at the right place at the right time. Ideas, people, and events all intersect with us at a particular time and place. We’ve all felt the serendipity of running into someone, or coming across an idea in one location, and then seeing it again in a second and maybe even third place. Then, whether we pick them up or are oblivious to them really is about how open we are at the moment. If we are willing to stop and listen, to provide a space for these whispers from the universe, then we can experience the richness of life. We can learn and grow and live in wonder and amazement.


Comments : 12 Comments »
Tags: , , , , , ,
Categories : Beth Lapin Blog

Groundhog Parade

6 02 2017

joe-at-essex-parade-2017-alisa-lebovitzJanuary 29, 2017

My friend Joe, color guard for the Sailing Masters, the Essex CT fife and drum corps, told me about the Essex Groundhog Parade. The weekend before Groundhog Day, a plastic six-foot groundhog statue (“Essex Ed”) is loaded onto a truck near the cove, driven a half mile through this small town of 6,500, and followed by antique cars, the Ancient Mariners, and local groups. Wearing groundhog paraphernalia, spectators bang pots and pans. Each year, a different sponsor dresses Essex Ed in timely costume.

essex-parade-leia-and-child-and-family-agency-barbara-b-haines

Looking for something silly and nonpolitical, I convinced three of my Essex colleagues who had also never been to the parade to join me. When we arrived, my friend Barbara, who knows everyone in town, led us to the staging area, where she whispered that Ed would be Edna this year for the first time. With flourishes and drum roll, along with hot chocolate and groundhog-shaped cookies, organizers opened a huge garage door to see the fruition of the Child and Family Agency’s efforts: and it’s….Edna as Princess Leia!!

Image may contain: 1 person, sky and outdoor

Somehow, we were invited to march with Child and Family Agency members and away we went, banging our pots and cowbell. The Ancient Mariners led the way, followed by a small contingency from Punxsutawney, PA, the home of Phil, the famous groundhog.  Then our group, followed by the local girls’ crew team – women predominated here this year. Some old cars, and then came Princess Leia in the back of a bright yellow Dickenson Witch Hazel truck. In no time, we reached Main Street and waved at the viewers in their silly hats who were making a racket with their spoons and pot lids. Smiles all around, with marchers greeting bystanders they recognized. Even I, an out-of-towner, saw people along the route I know.

essex-parade-all-three-at-end

In Connecticut, the land of steady habits, in a small town where Main Street still boasts homes primarily from 1790 to 1820, a median income of $89,000, but a history rich in rebellion, an agency whose very services are under fire chose for the first time to dress this town’s tradition as a woman, and one admired for the qualities of strength and hope, no less. To me, it was a subtle political statement, somewhat masked by the good-natured participation of those attending. But I was proud to have been able to add my noise to the celebration.

princess-leia-at-night

Princess Leia, shine your message of strength and hope on us as we march through the remaining weeks of winter, however many more there may be!

Additional Photo Credits: Alisa Lebovitz, Barbara Benjamin Haines


Comments : 5 Comments »
Tags: , , , , ,
Categories : Beth Lapin Blog

Traits of Our Parents

3 02 2017

beths-bat-mitzvah-largeFebruary 3, 2017

Several years ago, I ran into someone whose parents had been friends with mine. We chatted a few minutes and she exclaimed, smiling, “You are a perfect combination of your parents!”

I was a bit startled, as we hardly knew each other and it seemed like an intimate and surprisingly insightful observation to share. “Thanks,” I answered and we went our ways (and became Facebook friends).

I wasn’t quite sure what characteristics this acquaintance meant, but I’ve given thought to her idea, being the perfect combination of your parent’s positive traits. It came to mind again recently when a cousin on my mom’s side posted a cartoon about having no sense of direction. Another cousin (also on my mom’s side) commented that she’d be lost without her GPS. Not me. I have an amazing sense of direction, as did my dad. A former colleague used to lean back and let me drive around Little Rock on our work trips there. She knew I’d always get where we needed to be, even if I’d never been there before. But I digress.

dad-and-ebb-ess-ii-012

But only slightly. I started a list of the things I admired about my dad: besides a good sense of direction, his love being on the water, willing to live with “good enough,” enjoyment of music, honesty, integrity, goofy sense of humor. And then my mom: organized, logical, interested in biology, devoted to her family, strong inner compass, love of learning, community volunteer, skill with all types of crafts ranging from painting to crocheting. Yup, it seemed true. I bet those are all traits that my friends and coworkers might say about me.

milt-and-ruth-at-tanglewood-holding-hands

In younger years, I recall focusing on some difficult aspects of my parents and my efforts to avoid being like that. But what if instead I considered their strengths? Wouldn’t that emphasize that same part of me and draw in those qualities? Perhaps in a way similar to Ann Kubitzsky’s Look for the Good Project  or Oprah’s Gratitude Journal, the good would just rise to the top. Maybe you get what you look for. It certainly provides a softer, kinder view of both myself and my parents.

Just the thought of it made me smile and stand taller. When my daughter would say, “My mamma can do anything,” I looked behind me up the family tree and acknowledged my mother’s competence. When I would teach a novice to kayak, I remembered my father’s patience in teaching me to row (and drive a stick shift).

I encourage everyone to look for these positive traits, even if it seems impossible. The truth is that the genetic and environmental imprint of our parents is in and on us, whether we like it or not. Embrace what is there, focus on the good, and celebrate your unique results.


Comments : 22 Comments »
Tags: , ,
Categories : Beth Lapin Blog

Hidden Costs

30 01 2017

hidden-figures

January 30, 2017

I loved the movie, Hidden Figures, about the role of African American women mathematicians in the drama of NASA’s space program. A cleverly titled, extraordinary depiction of a specific era and place in history, the movie highlighted three distinct women, their families, and circumstances.

  • Katherine, brilliant in math and focused on her work, is as sweet and nerdy as they come. We cheer as this hard worker is rewarded both at work and home. She can’t help but think in math terms; I have an acquaintance who is similar with poetry. Recently, this friend found snow in her pocket, and wrote a parody, In the Early Morning Snow, on her drive to help me shovel.
  • Dorothy is the viewer of the future, the one who sees the imminent ending of her Colored Computers Department and takes the initiative to prepare for the next step by teaching herself how to program IBM computers. When she realizes her original product will be obsolete, she adapts, something I’ve often wondered about travel agents or the makers of pagers or camera film, calculators or ice boxes. It takes a certain type of vision and creativity to see what’s coming and figure out how to stay ahead of the pack.
  • Mary Jackson demonstrates individual strength to reach a dream that is out of legal reach by working the system, doing her homework, and persevering. Her mentor, a Holocaust survivor, encourages Mary to take whatever steps she must to accomplish her vision. In her efforts to get permission to take extension classes at an all-white school to become an engineer, she taps into the judge’s personal experience and human nature to become a first.

Based on participants’ recollection and tons (literally) of documents, Margot Lee Shetterly, the author of the book that inspired the movie, provides a striking reminder of the difference one individual can make. Al Harrison, director of the prestigious Space Task Group, desegregated the restrooms and coffee pot single-handedly.  He appeared as someone who, with some prodding, put goals over formality. Likewise, John Glenn is depicted as an enthusiastic, open person who recognized and valued the true source of the calculations that would determine if he returned to Earth or not.

For many years, these women’s contribution went unnoticed and, through this book and movie, we see how difficult it was for them to fully utilize their talents. I think about the hidden costs of not using people and their available strengths because of some personal bias. When we are unaware of a resource, it’s possibly excusable to waste time or money. But to intentionally bypass someone’s potential to contribute defeats us all. We are a country built on the strengths of many, from its inception to the present day. ‘Tis a good lesson to remember now, if you get my “hidden” meaning.


Comments : 12 Comments »
Tags: , , ,
Categories : Beth Lapin Blog

Shellfishing in Southeastern Connecticut

23 01 2017

bluff-point-beachAs I drove into Bluff Point State Park to meet my hiking group, I was surprised to see that the lot was full. Last week when we came here, there were a handful of cars, while today maybe fifty. As I unpacked my bag, I noticed that people were carrying various equipment, rakes, and buckets. They appeared to be checking in with a man in a truck over near the trail head, so I walked over to see what this was all about.

bluff-point-shellfish-warden
It turns out that it’s shellfishing season in southeastern Connecticut, and the Town of Groton’s warden was checking people’s equipment and catch. The weathered man gave me a copy of shellfishing regulations; we are in the Poquonnock River area, with an all-year open season.

One of the participants was returning from his morning and I asked him a few questions. He showed me his rake, with knife-like tines an inch apart and a basket to gather what he’d harvested. He took about two and a half hours to reach his maximum, which is a peck (about two gallons). What a quaint use of an antiquated term! He showed me that the clams had to be retained in a two-inch ring, while the oysters were measured in a three-inch ring. He suggested wearing chest waders, and even then his feet were cold.

bluff-point-shellfisher-with-equipment-trolley
The harvesters used a wide range of contraptions to carry their equipment along a mile or so of sandy road to reach the waters. “How often do you come?” I asked one of them. “Oh, as often as I can.” “What do you do with your catch?” I ask another. “Do you sell them?” “Oh, no, can’t do that.” I found it fascinating that these people would spent two to three hours out in frigid conditions in the middle of January to gather a bucket full of shellfish. Hardy souls!

bluff-point-merganzer
As I was driving out of the park, I marveled at my luck and was grateful for living here in Connecticut and having the flexibility to go on hikes and experience so many things, like shellfishing. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a Red-breasted Merganser foraging close to shore. By the time I stopped and took its photo, he was already high-tailing it for safety in deeper waters. What a sweet departing gift!


Comments : 5 Comments »
Tags: , , , ,
Categories : Beth Lapin Blog

Northwest Park, Windsor and Friendly’s, Windsor Locks

20 01 2017

20 January 2017

The day promised to be sunny and in the high forties when Cherry and I head to Windsor for our hike to Friendly’s. It doesn’t get that warm, or sunny, but we arrive ready to go at Northwest Park and Nature Center, owned by the city.

We decide to take trails to the north in order to end up at Rainbow Reservoir. Cherry excitedly tells me she’s heard from a local researcher that he and a colleague might be interested in making a documentary about her uncle. Her father’s brother, John, was likely the last chaplain on Ellis Island and had led an interesting and colorful life. Cherry, still working through probate of John’s estate, has his notes and many relevant documents that could be useful. I’m familiar with the work of the two colleagues she’s mentioned and they would do justice to her uncle’s life.

We see no one else, as we walk past open fields and old tobacco barns. We enter the forest on the eastern edge of the reservoir and enjoy the leafy cover on well-maintained trails. I am surprised to see that the reservoir is frozen, with crows and logs perched atop the ice. We talk about recent events and my desire to be more in touch with my inner voice, to trust and listen to it. I ask Cherry for advice, and she encourages me to provide sufficient down time, by myself, to hear my voice. During the rest of our hike, Cherry points out when in fact I have heard and listened to my voice, during recent medical interventions and with interactions with others.

“A jewel for the town of Windsor,” Cherry decides. Before long, we loop back to the nature center, where we enjoy the use of real bathrooms and their exhibits, including Oreo, their California king snake.

And, fortunately, our Friendly’s is only a short ride away. I notice the exterior is bright white. “Easier for seniors to see,” suggests Cherry. And has a drive-thru! I don’t remember that from any of our visits.

We are served by a perky waitress named Michelle. When we aren’t quite ready to order, she quips, “I’m here until five!” When I ask about our free sundaes, Michelle questions if we are over 60, a flattering tribute to our youthful looks (we hope). While waiting, we review our list of Friendly’s and we have twelve more Connecticut options to visit. That will last us at least a year!

 I order honey BBQ chicken melt on brioche, the lunch Cherry liked last time, while she gets a fishamajig supermelt. Big portions and I am filled instantly. But, wait! There’s still a sundae coming. We both try the new Cherry Magnolia: black cherry chocolate chunk ice cream, brownie pieces, and hot fudge topped with whipped topping, a cherry, and chocolate chips. Excellent. But, boy, I am full.

And, boy, I am still full!


Comments : 1 Comment »
Tags: , , , , , , ,
Categories : Beth Lapin Blog

“Blew” Monday

17 01 2017

jan-calendar-2017

January 17, 2017

I recently learned that the third Monday in January is touted as the most depressing day in the Northern Hemisphere. I guess that could serve as a warning for those of us prone to such emotions. On the other hand, would that cause its development via the placebo effect—thinking about the possibility might cause it to happen?

This year (and maybe most years?), Blue Monday, as it is whimsically named, falls on the celebration of Martin Luther King’s birthday. I could see where the pressing need of protecting all the human rights gained since the 1960s might cause some angst. But is there more to it? Is there something intrinsic about mid-January that gets to us?

When I did some research, I discovered that the term and the phenomenon were, in fact, a public relations firm’s concoction. Based on some fancy-looking but illogical mathematical formula that includes factors such as debt, weather, days since Christmas, and proximity to New Year’s resolutions, the firm attempted to predict when to encourage travel to increase vacation sales. If a travel agency could time its promotions to tap into people’s time of great discontent, it might hit the jackpot!

athina-day-1-031-we-come-in-peace-agora

Since 2000, I’ve traveled internationally with two friends and we regularly go in January! However, this has much more to do with our schedules than with Blue Monday. One of us is a professor with its typical vacation times. I love summer at home and won’t travel then. Our third partner will do pretty much what everyone else needs. Overall, we have been to eleven countries in January and four in March. I assure you that Europe in January is not prime time for sightseeing. However, we did have a lovely time in Cardiff, Wales, home of the originator of the Blue Monday formula (Wales was in March, just sayin’).

But, back to Blue Monday. The public relations firm responsible for this moniker, according to Wikipedia, was Porter Novelli. I start to wonder about the credibility of any other of their PR campaigns. Among their clients have been the Peace Corps, National Institutes for Health (where they designed both the old and newer Food Pyramids), the FDIC, and more recently Indiana’s former governor/vice-president elect Mike Pence, who hired the firm after the Religious Freedom Restoration Act to improve Indiana’s image. Who knew that Blue Monday had political overtones? If I were more of a suspicious person, I might wonder if the revival of the Blue Monday pseudo-phenomenon was a ploy to maneuver the masses.

Well, I don’t know about you, but, for me, Blue Monday blew by and it was fine.


Comments : 2 Comments »
Tags: , , , , ,
Categories : Beth Lapin Blog

Baby Birds

10 01 2017

zickefoose-book-cover

January 10,2017

A long-time friend recently gave me a copy of Julie Zickefoose’s book, Baby Birds. Her treatise is a multi-year project involving drawing and discoursing on baby birds from hatching to fledging. Julie, a former Connecticut resident, conveys the miracle of life, the importance of each and every being, and how one person can make a difference, in these seventeen life history chapters. Her drawings are exquisite and her commentary is as direct and unpretentious as she

I’ve allow myself only one chapter each night, and I am drawn into my own memories when I reach the one covering Tree Swallows. The murmuration at the mouth of the Connecticut River is described by Julie as “a little-known autumnal ritual of roosting swallow flocks [which] remains among the most impressive ornithological spectacles I’ve ever witnessed.” Since her time, this phenomenon has become “discovered” but it doesn’t make it any less magical. I’ve loved introducing people to this experience…sitting in a kayak as sunset, while being buzzed by hundreds which then become thousands of swallows flying in from hither and yon. I can imagine their conversations amidst their twitterings, “Just got back from Hammonasset,” “Where’s the South Cove group?” and so on.

beth-and-marcy-pointing-at-swallowsPhoto Credit: AA White

As we sit floating, the sun dips in the west and the grouping of birds grows larger and larger. False swoops into the reeds, followed by rising waves back into the sky. How do they keep from flying into each other? And finally, with my binoculars trained on the birds, I shout, “Here it comes!” They funnel and gather, and then, swish, they are all settled into the reeds for the night. Done. Amazing.

Some colleagues out there on the water with me have missed the climax. They were focused on their bota box, cheese, and crackers. And, honestly, it’s a lovely setting for all that, even if you miss the birds. And quite honestly it isn’t always exactly the same. Sometimes, there are several funnels and it’s less dramatic. But it’s always magical.

cardinal-at-feeder

Ah, “California dreamin’…on a winter’s day.” Here I am thinking about Tree Swallows when we have at least eight inches of new snow. I’m grateful to be able to stay home; there’s a 30-vehicle pile-up on the nearby highway. I get a kick out of watching the gyrations of the birds using my whimsical, out-of-proportion hummingbird-lookalike feeder during even the fiercest part of this storm. Tomorrow, the sun will come out, we will all shovel out, and I’ll return to winter. But I wouldn’t be surprised if the daydreaming of summer was exactly part of all the winter stories and tales from our ancestors as they huddled in front of the fire, waiting for the return of spring. And I relish the connection with these birds, bringing me back to Julie’s approach, recognizing the importance of each one, and our connection to all living things.


Comments : 4 Comments »
Tags: , , , , , ,
Categories : Beth Lapin Blog

I Have a Cold

7 01 2017

waste-basket-of-tissues

January 7, 2017

I have a cold. I hate having a cold. Mine always incapacitate me for a week and it amazes me that a so much time can disappear from action in this way. Then I think about the fact that it will be over, and not everyone can say that about their health issues. So I try to accept.

new-years-sunrise

We are in a new year, 2017, and the first sunrise was spectacular. I want—no, I desperately want that to indicate the start to an amazing year. I wasn’t thrilled with 2016 and I need better. I have chosen FREEDOM as my word for 2017 – personal, local, national, global. Not the kind of wild irresponsible behavior at Mardi Gras, say, but the type that encourages decisions from a central core that is based on higher good.

white-throated-sparrow-at-window-sillWe are expecting snow, so I (in my slippers and PJs) manage to put out bird seed. I enjoy watching and listening to birds nourishing themselves from my small generosity. I place some seed on a window sill near my laptop and I am always thrilled by the stark white chin and yellow eye patch of the white-throated sparrow and the perky crest of the female cardinal who is apparently a slight bit nervous about being this close to civilization.

2017. I vow to surround myself with positivity, look for love (not fear), optimism (not negativity). I am self-sufficient enough to be able to select my environment and those who participate with me, and move gently and lovingly away from those who just don’t want to go there.

curry-bowlLunch time, and I open the fridge to see Clam Chowder (brought last night by a former coworker), Seafood Curry (given by a neighbor whose mother is slowly but consistently sinking into Parkinson’s), Black-eyed Pea Soup (one of the few joint cooking project with my partner), and Carrot/Cauliflower Curry (given by a book discussion group member whose dear husband is battling debilitating back pain). I feel the tangible love that these people, many of whom have their own serious personal crises right now, have brought to nourish and support me.

I am house-bound by the snow and my cold, but I am not alone. With the physical evidence of food and a email inbox filled with support and caring, I know I am connected to others. Perhaps right now, I am more on the receiving end, but I am also trying to put myself in each person’s shoes and respond appropriately. Oh, and there’s Ramos the cat here with me, too.

That is my 2017 plan: sign up to do only those things that are right for me; share and receive Love, choose healthy over dysfunctional. I’ll keep you posted.


Comments : Leave a Comment »
Tags: , , , , ,
Categories : Beth Lapin Blog

Next Entries »